Inter-scare 35

I know its been ages since I wrote last but honestly life has been pretty boring. If I'm going to write I like to have something to write about, besides "Yep....hung out at the house today." Which is all I've really been able to do since I've been here. One, its so damn hot here, that when you walk outside the air is literally sucked right out of you and two, I'm so damn scared of getting lost around here that I don't want to go anywhere. LOL They have interstate here called 35 and it is insane. For some reason everyone here in TX drives like they don't have a license. Its beyond cut throat and dangerous. Which makes me not want to take the kids out there but I feel too guilty to leave my kids home stuck with someone. So, that leaves me here unless I go to the gym that is right down the road....down a back road so I don't even have to look at the interstate. LOL I know i'm such a baby but if you have been here before you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. 


Plus side, I haven't really had a chance to spend any money except on necessities. But I'm sure that will change once I get the guts to jump on to 35. The good thing is, I don't really want to buy any clothes because I'm losing 20 more lbs and wasting money on clothes i'm not going to fit in about a month of so, doesn't make any sense. I will just wait til I'm where I want to be. I'm damn proud of myself so far, there have been times where a burger sounds soooo good but I've had amazing self control.  I think just the thought of the guilt I'd have after enjoying such a tasty treat helps! haha 

I am happy to say that the boys are finally settled in and a lot more comfortable since Lee brought our stuff over from NC. I think they just like having stuff around from home and honestly so do I. I'm going to work on putting pictures on the walls that I also had brought from home. I just need this one room to feel more like home for the boys and I. I'm so thankful to my Brother-In-Law, Daniel. He gave up this room for us and he has been such an amazing help to me and the kids. I'm thankful that we are here with people that care so much for us and I'm glad that it helps put Kevin's mind at ease. 

Lately, I've found myself picking fights with Kev and honestly I think it's because I miss him so much! I know that sounds silly but that's just the way I am. I don't want to cry and I don't want to show that I feel helpless without him around. I'm really trying to work on not being such a hard ass and just let my emotions show. I just get so self contiguous and scared when he isn't here with me. I know he isn't going anywhere and I know he isn't going to do anything to hurt me but I just shut down when he leaves. I know it will get better! I just wish it would get better now. LOL Anyways, when Noah talks to Kev he always says "I miss you Dede" and it breaks my heart. I'm sure it's so hard for Kev too because of course that is the one thing Noah says clear as day. haha I know this deployment will fly by once we get in the full swing of things. I can't wait to start sending him care packages. It will be fun especially with the kids here to add their touches to them. :). 

Well, I better get going. Laundry and Gym time! I would have just said GTL but I don't tan! hahaha

Ta-Ta for now!

-Nay 

Two Steps forward, no steps back.

Things are really starting to get back into routine and i'm thankful! Taylor is back to taking his normal naps in the day, Noah isn't so confused, and i'm actually doing great on my start to eating healthier. My Father-In-Law is in route to NC to drive my car here to TX. I still can't fathom someone doing something so amazing for me and my kids. I'm beyond thankful for the family God has blessed me with. 

My poor Husband had a really bad dream last night. It was about him trying to talk to Noah but Noah couldn't see him or hear him. That breaks my heart because I know how much it is killing him that Noah is taking this separation so hard. Noah has been crying for Kev almost everyday so far. When that happens I just show him pictures of Kev and tell him that Daddy loves and misses him. Now when we Skype with Kev, Noah says "I miss you". Its soo freaking sweet. 

Its been hard getting settled here in Texas, just because I've felt a bit out of place. I don't want to be in the way or over step my boundaries. But its starting to feel better already, so i'm thankful for that. I'm ready to get back into the gym! I miss the feeling of accomplishment and I can't wait to look smokin' when Kev gets home ;). As for tonight, I'm hanging out at the house just me and my boys. We are going to watch the Phineas and Ferb movie <3.

Ta-Ta for Now!

-Nay

Welcome to Texas...Goodbye Hubby =(

Well we are officially in San Antonio, TX and getting settled in. I've already started cleaning the house as though it were my own but it doesn't quite feel like home. Last night was hard. I woke up in the middle of the night and forgot where I was, then I realized that I'm really far away from Kevin. The deployment and separation has set in and it sucks. That also means its time to start my diet and get to my goal before he gets home. Goal 120lbs. Current 150lbs. I know I can do it and I will.


I opened our suitcase this morning to find two sweet cards from my husband. They made me tear up a bit because they were just so thoughtful. I'm going to miss that man so much but I know having his family around me everyday will help. I can't help but kinda feel like the air has been sucked out of me. I know it will get better with time and Skype will be my new best friend.

He is my love, my heart, and my life. I love you baby and I will miss you SO terribly.

Here's to day one.


Ta-Ta for now!
-Nay