Inter-scare 35

I know its been ages since I wrote last but honestly life has been pretty boring. If I'm going to write I like to have something to write about, besides "Yep....hung out at the house today." Which is all I've really been able to do since I've been here. One, its so damn hot here, that when you walk outside the air is literally sucked right out of you and two, I'm so damn scared of getting lost around here that I don't want to go anywhere. LOL They have interstate here called 35 and it is insane. For some reason everyone here in TX drives like they don't have a license. Its beyond cut throat and dangerous. Which makes me not want to take the kids out there but I feel too guilty to leave my kids home stuck with someone. So, that leaves me here unless I go to the gym that is right down the road....down a back road so I don't even have to look at the interstate. LOL I know i'm such a baby but if you have been here before you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. 


Plus side, I haven't really had a chance to spend any money except on necessities. But I'm sure that will change once I get the guts to jump on to 35. The good thing is, I don't really want to buy any clothes because I'm losing 20 more lbs and wasting money on clothes i'm not going to fit in about a month of so, doesn't make any sense. I will just wait til I'm where I want to be. I'm damn proud of myself so far, there have been times where a burger sounds soooo good but I've had amazing self control.  I think just the thought of the guilt I'd have after enjoying such a tasty treat helps! haha 

I am happy to say that the boys are finally settled in and a lot more comfortable since Lee brought our stuff over from NC. I think they just like having stuff around from home and honestly so do I. I'm going to work on putting pictures on the walls that I also had brought from home. I just need this one room to feel more like home for the boys and I. I'm so thankful to my Brother-In-Law, Daniel. He gave up this room for us and he has been such an amazing help to me and the kids. I'm thankful that we are here with people that care so much for us and I'm glad that it helps put Kevin's mind at ease. 

Lately, I've found myself picking fights with Kev and honestly I think it's because I miss him so much! I know that sounds silly but that's just the way I am. I don't want to cry and I don't want to show that I feel helpless without him around. I'm really trying to work on not being such a hard ass and just let my emotions show. I just get so self contiguous and scared when he isn't here with me. I know he isn't going anywhere and I know he isn't going to do anything to hurt me but I just shut down when he leaves. I know it will get better! I just wish it would get better now. LOL Anyways, when Noah talks to Kev he always says "I miss you Dede" and it breaks my heart. I'm sure it's so hard for Kev too because of course that is the one thing Noah says clear as day. haha I know this deployment will fly by once we get in the full swing of things. I can't wait to start sending him care packages. It will be fun especially with the kids here to add their touches to them. :). 

Well, I better get going. Laundry and Gym time! I would have just said GTL but I don't tan! hahaha

Ta-Ta for now!

-Nay